This tumbl is for Rachel and Zach.
I showed M my new wallet and he took it into his hands, said, “Oooh, nice!”, and then began furiously trying to scratch Batman’s face off.
My boyfriend is jealous of Batman.
We also got into our first fight today, at IHOP — a heated argument over my willingness, upon his death (WHEN PRESENTED WITH THE OPPORTUNITY) to (TRY) an Anthony Bourdain-prepared portion of his flesh, served per his standards, which he found disgusting.
M: Maybe I’d like to go out like Freddie Mercury, with one of those ritual Tibetan sky funerals.
Me: How is that any different?!
M: What do you MEAN, how is that any different?
Me: Why is it gross if I say I’d try a bite of your steak, but you’d absolutely let a bunch of birds eat your entire corporeal body? How is that not the same thing?
M: How IS THAT AT ALL the same thing?!??
Me: Replace ‘birds’ with ‘your girlfriend’! ‘Random tibetan field’ with ‘a cozy home with celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain and a celebration of your life’!
M: BECAUSE ONE IS BIRD AND ONE IS HUMAN EATING A HUMAN. I can’t believe you don’t get this!!
TUMBLR. IS THIS JUSTIFIED.